Creativity and Making Space to Breathe

Okay, I know I’m usually I’m here chatting about books.
But stay with me for a moment, because this does belong in this space.

This morning, while I was contorting my body and dripping in sweat in hot yoga class, my mind wandered (as it tends to do). And I found myself thinking about the subtle but meaningful changes I’ve made over the last six months… changes that have helped me become a calmer, more creative human.

Creativity doesn’t live in isolation.

It’s shaped by our bodies, our nervous systems, our habits, and the stories we tell ourselves about what we’re “allowed” to need. Yoga just happens to be the doorway that helped me notice all of this.

Let’s talk about calming the nervous system (yes, I know it’s a buzzword, but please stick with me).

I know “nervous system regulation” has become one of those phrases you hear everywhere, but I’ve come to understand how deeply a dysregulated nervous system can steal creative energy. And I have never made this connection before, so many this will help you too.

For me, the biggest trigger turned out to be… phone calls.

That might sound strange, but last June I learned…by phone… that my dad had suddenly died while on vacation. Eight days later, I received another phone call telling me my nephew had been killed in a hit-and-run. My body learned, very quickly, that unexpected calls meant catastrophe.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but my nervous system went straight into fight-or-flight whenever my phone lit up at what felt like an “odd” hour. I can still remember when I had an anxiety attack because my friend call while we were both doing a school drop off run just to see how I was doing. The phone ringing sent me into a panic. My body was trying to protect me.

It’s taken time and gentleness, but I’m learning… slowly… that not every call means impending doom. And that quiet reset has freed up more mental and emotional space than I realized I’d lost.

The next thing I noticed was that I wasn’t actually making space for me.

Sure, I’d collapse onto the couch at night and read… when I was half exhausted… but I wasn’t doing things that actively brought me joy or helped me feel like myself. I kept telling myself I didn’t have time.

The truth?
I wasn’t making the time.

It reminded me of financial advice… pay yourself first. Put savings and investments aside, and then let everything else fit around that. I realized I needed to do the same thing with joy.

For me, that joy is yoga.

It calms me. It makes me feel strong. And as a solopreneur, it gets me out of the house in the morning and into a room where people smile at one another. Now, yoga is the first thing I put on my calendar each week… not the thing I squeeze in if I’ve got enough work done. (Even with adding in it every day, I still have the time to get my work finished up.)

Lastly, I had to start asking for help.

This one will resonate with my fellow eldest daughters.

I had convinced myself that asking my family for help meant I was failing. I was very good at anticipating everyone else’s needs… sometimes before they even knew they had them… but asking for help with the smallest task? Absolutely not.

What I’ve come to understand is this… long-term creativity and sustainability are a group effort.

Whether it’s family or friends, you have to let people support you when you need space to create. And here’s the hardest part…

You don’t get to feel guilty about it.

Need a weekend at the library to finish edits? You’re allowed to take that space.
Launching a new project and need help brainstorming? You’re allowed to ask.
Taking a class or workshop that lights you up? Yes. That too.

Creativity doesn’t thrive under guilt. It thrives under permission.

So let’s let go… together… of the guilt around taking time to be creative.
Around sharing our creativity.
Around doing the things that make us feel like the best version of ourselves.

I’ll leave you with this question:

What’s the thing you’ve been holding back on?
The project you set aside.
The class you keep talking yourself out of.
The creative spark you keep postponing.

Go do it.

Because everyone deserves to feel their best and to share their creativity with the world.

Happy creating,

Melissa

P.S.

A quick reminder…
January’s mini challenge, The Alignment Edit, starts this coming Monday (January 12th).
It’s a low-touch, pressure-free space to gently audit your social media and newsletter with a focus on observing, not fixing... yet.

The $7 upgrade gives you access to the full challenge and the paid subscriber chat (It’s like have a version of me, a social media strategist for authors and creatives, on speed-dial).

No rushing. No overwhelm. Just clarity.

Want to work together? Check out my WORK WITH ME page.

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