I’ll Never Tell You Not to Read a Book

I had one of those car conversations with my son the other morning. The parenting kind that starts with a few little comments and then turns into something bigger.

He had just finished Pride and Prejudice.

And he informed me, very confidently, that it had landed on his list of the top 10 worst books he’s ever read.

I paused. Took a deep breath. And then we talked.

I truly believe it is always okay to not like a book. We all come to stories with different experiences, different expectations, different moods. What feels slow and tedious to one reader might feel comforting and immersive to another. And sometimes a book that doesn’t work for us now might become a favorite later, simply because we’ve lived a little more life by the time we return to it.

That part of the conversation was our normal bookish chatter.

But then he said something that made my jaw drop.

He told me that a friend’s parents had told their son not to read Jane Austen at all because she was “completely boring.”

And I could feel my mom lecture loading.😬

Not because I think everyone should love Jane Austen. (Clearly, my own son does not.) But because of what their comment to their son represents.

Reading is about exploration.

It’s about discovering what you like. What you don’t like. What surprises you. What challenges you. What comforts you. What stays with you.

We read for so many different reasons. Sometimes for escape. Sometimes to understand something new. Sometimes just to see what all the fuss is about.

But the one thing I feel very strongly about is this…

We should never tell someone what they will or won’t like.

I can tell you what I enjoyed.
I can tell you what didn’t work for me.
I can share my experience.

But I cannot… and will not… decide for you.

Because I don’t bring the same perspective to a book that you do.

And that’s the whole point.

This conversation also had me thinking about something else… something I’ve been noticing more and more in our reading culture.

*Pauses to step onto a soapbox.

Starred reviews don’t really tell us much. And I say that as someone who has absolutely relied on them, and encourages readers to leave them as part of my job, they’ve become shorthand. An easy way out. A way to decide quickly whether something is “worth it.” But in many ways, I think they’ve made us lazier as readers.

(I’d like to pause here and 100% admit I am guilty of doing this when I read on my kindle. Unless its a book I’m reviewing and need to write something thoughtful, I just tap those starts and start the next book.)

We rush to the next book. We check the rating. We grab another.

Without asking ourselves…

Why did I like this?
Why didn’t I?
What stayed with me?
What didn’t?

What if we slowed down?

What if, after finishing a book, we took even 15 minutes to write down our thoughts? Not for anyone else (although since part of my job is helping authors get reviews it would be amazing if you did :). But we can write a version just for ourselves.

To absorb what we just experienced.

To actually think about it.

As we kept talking, I reminded my son about what he loved when he first started reading on his own.

Urban legends. Scary stories. Comics.

Not my taste at all. But they were his. And they mattered, because those books were part of how he became a reader. What if I had told him back then, “Those are horrible books. You shouldn’t read those. Comics aren’t even REAL books.”?

I wouldn’t have just been dismissing a genre. I would have been dismissing a part of who he was becoming. A 16-year-old who loves horror, anime, and stories that pull him into worlds I wouldn’t naturally choose myself.

And that matters more to me than whether he likes Jane Austen. (I’m still holding out hope he will come to love her books later in life.)

So I’m writing this as a reminder to myself as much as anything…

To explore, not dismiss.
To stay curious, not dogmatic in my likes and dislikes.
To form my own thoughts instead of leaning entirely on the crowd.
And to take a little more time to reflect on what I read.

Reading is about discovering. And I love new adventures!

I’d love to hear from you.

Have you ever been told not to read something and read it anyway?
Or found a genre you love that someone else would never pick up?

I would love to hear your stories.

Melissa
The Literary Assistant

Poe watches over the Pride and Prejudice corner of my collection

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