The Inbetween
Parenting phases they don't tell you about.
There are so many phases in life that we prepare for: getting married, having a baby, the first day your child goes to school, empty-nesting… They are major life events that people talk about.
But what about the small shifts that are hidden in the day-to-day but feel like you’ve moved into a new space in life and things will never be the same?
I had a shift this week that felt big, but I never hear other people sharing their experiences with it. I thought it might be interesting to talk about if any of you have been there and have wisdom to lend. (please! My dm’s are always open for wisdom) Or, perhaps you haven’t even thought of this phase, and it might be somewhere in your future.
By now, I feel as though I have built it up to feel monumental, and I promise it’s not that big of a deal… (or at least it is only to me and my family)
What happened is that my son started his first job. Like a real, fill out all the paperwork and do all the online training job. Eeeek! I guess this phase surprised me because he is 14 years old. In some ways, he still feels like my baby, but he’s now in high school and employed.
Now, you might be thinking that it’s normal for teens to have a job, but now we get to the fun part… he is too young to drive. So, twice a week after school, my husband and I are his chauffeurs to work. Yay, us. lol
Why the heck would he get a job so young? Well, he is very driven in his goal to be a video game creator. He has been passionate about gaming since he was 2 and has been taking coding lessons for years. He was asked by the place where he has been attending coding lessons if he would like to now help teach the next generation of coders. After some parental discussion, we gave our permission.
It’s a job that will let him explore if this is something he wants to do in the future, as well as gain on-the-job experience.
As a parent, I think most of us want to give our children a better future, and if that means being an unpaid Uber driver for a while, I’m willing to do that. (Ask me how I feel driving home in the dark in the middle of winter. 😬)
What do you think? Did your child start working before they could drive? If the right opportunity arose, would you (or did you) let your child work as an early teen? Are there any other phases I should be preparing for???? Tell me all the things!
In the meantime, I’ll be hanging out at the local Starbucks, catching up on Substack newsletters and writing while he works his shift.
Happy reading,
Melissa
Under “normal” average circumstances, I wouldn’t want any of my three sons or two daughters to have worked at 14. They did start at 16 and drove themselves. We lived in a relatively small town, so traffic wasn’t an issue. But 4 of them were in sports and band in middle school and high school. We did a lot of driving. And…your son is having a unique opportunity. It’s still not fun to be tied to his schedule. I can’t say I was always in the best of moods when I had to pick up my oldest from advanced high school algebra when he was in middle school, but I did it bcause it was good for him.
Don’t beat yourself up for wishing for a limousines driver for your son.
I still drive my daughter - who is 24 - around. She has her driver's license but has a lot of anxiety about driving, and we only have one car. She has a friend who works near her job take her and bring her home most days, but others I do it, and I don't mind. I take her to the store, too, if she needs something, and since she lives with me, it's easy to add what she needs to anything I'm getting as well. My parents and grandparents helped me out a lot and it feels natural for me to do the same with my kids.
I started working when I was fifteen, and babysat before then. It's good to see kids today taking that initiative as well and getting the hang of balancing school and work. What a fantastic opportunity for your son, to get some teaching experience in the field that interests him while getting paid - he's fortunate to have such supportive parents, too!